Falling Apart
by rosesinjanuary
Summary: Abby never cries, ever...except sometimes when she does.
1. Witness

I had to rearrange a little because I realized that chronologically, this came first. Oops!

The summary is a little misleading, but the quote just worked so welll... A series of episode tags of Abby and McGee, in moments where they needed comfort. First one is post-"Witness"

I don't own them, lyrics from "Ever the Same," Rob Thomas.

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* * *

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Just let me hold you while you're falling apart

_Just let me hold you while we both fall down_

_*_

She knocked late that night, and he opened his door, looked at her for a long moment, jerked his head back towards the inside of his apartment, and disappeared into his bedroom.

Getting her boots off took a couple of minutes, and she dumped them in a pile by his doormat before following him.

McGee lay flat on his back in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Abby crawled on the mattress and sat next to him, tucking her feet up close to her. She reached out and rested her hand on his chest. "Hey," she said softly.

He laid a hand on top of hers. "Hey."

She tried to study his face in the half-light from the street that seeped through his blinds. "You wanna talk about it?"

Silence, and then a long sigh. "No."

Abby squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry…" _Sorry for what?_ she wondered. That he'd lost someone he could have cared for? Sorry for being a bitch to her? For getting… possessive? Possessive wasn't part of the deal. They were both free to move on when they wanted.

Not that it mattered now. "I'm sorry, Tim," she repeated. "So, so sorry." And left it at that.

McGee finally turned his head to look at her. "I just keep going over and over it in my head," he said, and it hurt her to hear the pain in his voice. "There had to have been something I could've done."

"There was nothing," she told him. "Even Gibbs said there was nothing you could have done." He was at least looking at her now, instead of at the pictures inside his head. "You did everything you could for her, more than some people might have." She leaned in and kissed him, softly. "You're a very special agent, Timothy McGee."

He caught her head in his hand to keep her from pulling away, and kissed her back, a little desperately. "It's okay," she murmured against his lips. "It'll be okay."

Eventually she broke the kiss and stood, tugging out her pigtails, dropping her clothes on the floor. "I can't make it better," she said as she slid between the sheets, pulling him towards her. She kissed him again. "But if you let me, I can make you forget, for a little while."

She was right. It didn't make it better. But for a little while, wrapped in Abby's warm arms and soft kisses, there was peace.


	2. Kill Ari Part 1

Sorry! I had to move things around because I realized I'd screwed up the chronology. So Chapter 1 is actually the new chapter today.

This is early in "Kill Ari (Pt. 1)." I decided that Tony went and changed out of his wet clothes before he took the shell casings down to Abby, which gives just enough time for this bit to happen.

Disclaimer in first part.

* * *

Gibbs had told them to go get changed, but there was something he had to do first.

He stood in the doorway, dripping on the floor. "Abby."

She turned, and the wet tracks down her cheeks told him she'd been crying. Somehow, this made it real, all of a sudden. If Abby was crying and Gibbs was being nice, it had to be real. "Oh, Tim…" Crossing to him, ignoring his soaked clothes, she slid her arms around his waist and buried her face in his shoulder. McGee pulled her into a hug and held her tight.

After a moment, he felt her patting and prodding him through his vest. "You're okay, right? You're not hurt?"

"I'm fine, Abs." He rested his cheek against the top of her head and breathed in the warm, familiar smell of her hair. He'd never been so glad that Abby worked in the lab, that she was safe down here, away from crazy terrorists with guns. "Never even got near me."

She'd find out that was a lie as soon as she looked at the car, but for now, the lie was better.

"And Tony?" Her voice was shaky and pleading, desperate for reassurance. "Gibbs said he was fine, but –"

McGee tightened his grip on her. "He'll be down in a minute. He's fine, Abby. We're all…" His voice broke, and he couldn't finish.

He felt her shoulders begin to shake under his hands as she started to cry again.

Some of his tears fell on her hair, but she let him pass them off as raindrops.

* * *


	3. Probie

Post- "Probie"

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* * *

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Just let me hold you while you're falling apart

_Just let me hold you while we both fall down_

*

She wished she could tell him that his bullet wasn't the fatal one, but they never lied to each other – and anyway, he'd know if she lied. She felt so helpless. "Does it really matter?" she asked, knowing it did.

"Yeah, Abby, it does," he told her.

His eyes were so sad. When he looked like that, all she wanted to do was hold him and kiss him and love him until he'd forgotten to be sad, until he remembered that there were good things in the world and he finally smiled again.

But they'd agreed that certain things were off limits, so instead Abby just stepped closer and gave him a hug. After a moment, she felt his arms slide around her waist, and he held her tight. Really, really tight. "You busy tonight, Abs?"

She mentally cancelled the party she'd been going to that night. There would be others, and Tim was more important. He was always more important. "Not at all. What've you got planned?"

He sighed against her hair. "Heavy drinking comes to mind, but I'm hoping you'll talk me out of it."

"Of course!" She leaned back and frowned at him sternly, but then her lips curved into a smile. "Moderate drinking, however, I will condone." Pulling back and sliding her arm through his, she nudged him towards the door. "Along with take out, and several rounds of the computer game of your choice." She grinned up at him. "Maybe I'll even let you win."

His eyes were still sad, but at least that got a small smile out of him. "I think I like your type of cheering up better than DiNozzo's." McGee squeezed her arm. "Thanks, Abs."

Abby leaned her head against his shoulder as the elevator doors closed. "No problem, McGee."


	4. Bloodbath

This one I've been playing with for a while, because McGee being annoyed with Abby when she's being stalked never really worked for me.

Speaking of things that don't work for me, when was the last time McGee and Abby had a scene together? I love the whole cast, really I do, but they're the reason I watch. What is _wrong_ with the writers? (Sorry...slight digression there.)

Takes place during "Bloodbath." Enjoy!

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* * *

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Just let me hold you while you're falling apart

_Just let me hold you while we both fall down_

*

"Oh no," Abby said. "No. You are _not_ sleeping out here."

McGee looked up from his sleeping bag. "Huh?"

She pointed emphatically to his bedroom. "I was just almost attacked by my psycho-stalker, we've spent an hour fingerprinting and photographing this place and talking Gibbs down off the ceiling, and it will be a miracle if I get any sleep at all. _You_ are not going further away from me than the length of my arm. Preferably not even that."

His gut reaction to her tone was mutiny, but he forced himself to focus on her words. She was terrified, and she needed him. "Okay, Abs," he said, standing and rubbing his hands soothingly over her arms. "Everything's okay." He caught sight of his broken typewriter, still on the floor, and grimaced. "Well, almost everything."

She groaned and closed her eyes. "I am _so_ sorry, Timmy."

McGee put his arms around her. "Hey, it's okay. I'm sure there's somewhere I can get it fixed." _Do people even fix typewriters anymore?_ he thought resignedly. "Don't worry about it." He took her firmly by the shoulders. "Now, I'm going to go double check the locks," he told her. "Go brush your teeth."

That made her smile a little.

*

She'd pulled his arms around her, tight, and tucked her head under his chin. "I'm not like him," she said suddenly. "He thought I was, but I'm not. He doesn't know where the line is."

"You are _nothing_ like him," McGee said with certainty. He kissed her hair. "_Nothing,_ Abby_._ I know you better than that."

Abby squeezed his hand. "Thanks."

They were quiet for a long time, until – "McGee?"

He'd been sliding into a doze, and jerked awake. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I let him in," she said in a small voice.

McGee sighed. "It's okay." After a minute, he said, "I'm sorry I left you alone."

"It's okay," she told him. She was quiet again, and then - "McGee?"

He twitched. "Yeah?"

"If you weren't so worried, you'd be really pissed about the typewriter, wouldn't you? And the stuff I downloaded on your computer?"

He thought a minute. "Probably," he admitted.

"Do me a favor?" she asked. "Tomorrow, can you forget that you're worried and just be pissed? If I'm arguing with you, I can pretend I'm not scared."

_Abby-logic,_ he thought with a smile. "Sure thing, Abs."

Abby snuggled closer. "That's why I love you, McGee."

McGee pushed all extraneous, distracting feelings aside and focused on holding his best friend, who needed him.

"Love you too, Abby. Go to sleep."


	5. Hiatus Part 2

Yay! Two in one evening!

Set during "Hiatus - Part 2"

* * *

He caught up with her in an out-of-the-way corner. She was leaning against the wall, her back to him, and she jumped a bit when he gently touched her shoulder. "McGee!" she snapped. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

McGee snatched his hand back. "Sorry," he muttered. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Her eyes were very shiny, and her breath hitched a little. "I'm fine," she said firmly. Her gaze narrowed. "What happened to your bathroom break?"

"What happened to yours?" he countered.

They stood there for a minute, glaring at each other. Uncharacteristically, Abby broke first. She bit her lip. "What if he never remembers us?" she asked quietly.

He took a deep breath. "He'll remember us," he told her, keeping his voice steady and strong, for her. "He's Gibbs. He's awake, right? And he never leaves a case unsolved. We'll need him to solve this. So he has to remember."

After a moment, Abby flung her arms around his neck in a stranglehold. He hugged her back as tightly as he could. "You're right, McGee. He _has_ to remember."

McGee held her close, comforting her and taking comfort in her.

_He has to remember._


	6. Hiatus Part 2b

The lab was silent.

He hated it when the lab was silent. Not necessarily because he liked Abby's music (okay, he liked some of it…and an equal or great proportion made his eye twitch), but because it meant that Abby was unhappy, and he really, really hated it when Abby was unhappy.

She sat in her desk chair, her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them, and didn't looked up even when the door _whooshed_ open. "Hey," he said, leaning back against the doorjamb.

"Hey," she said, still staring straight ahead.

McGee waited for a minute to see if she would speak again. Nothing. "Your car still in the shop?"

Abby shrugged. "Geoff says he managed to fix the tire himself. I just have to get back out there to drive it home." She sighed. "I don't even have a _picture_ of him."

Talking to Abby was enough to give you conversational whiplash. "Geoff?"

She gave him a Look. "_Gibbs._"

Oh. That made more sense. Also, that was one thing – one among the hundreds of things that had gone wrong this week – that he could fix. "Move over," he told her, crossing to the computer. She looked up at him, confused, and he rolled her chair over a few inches so that he could reach the keyboard. He tapped a few keys to access his own computer remotely, and then sifted through his image files, bringing one up on her screen. "There."

He'd accidentally caught Gibbs in one of his crime scene photos, looking through the window of the car he'd been photographing. Abby looked up him in astonished gratitude, her eyes rimmed in tears. "Tim…"

He shrugged, a little embarrassed. "It's just a picture, Abs," he said. She grabbed his hand and squeezed tightly, and he squeezed back. "So…how 'bout I give you a ride home, and then tomorrow we'll drive out and get the hearse?"

Abby sniffled, and nodded, but when he started to step towards the door, she kept hold of his hand. "Can we just…sit? For a little while?"

McGee looked down at her pleading eyes, and managed to pull a chair over so he could sit down next to her.

"Yeah," he said, squeezing her hand again. "We can sit."


	7. Twisted Sister

Post-"Twisted Sister"

* * *

_Just let me hold you while you're falling apart_

_Just let me hold you while we both fall down_

*

Nearly everyone had gone home when she stopped by the squad room on her way out. Here and there, an agent sat at a desk, finishing up paperwork…and here, at his desk, McGee was finishing up paperwork while Sara slept, curled up in Tony's chair with McGee's blazer draped over her as a blanket.

"How's she doing?" Abby asked softly as she leaned on the edge of Tim's desk.

He blinked up at her, his eyes tired. "She'll be okay, I think. I hope. She's staying with me tonight, but she didn't want to go back to the apartment alone, so…" He shrugged. "I have to get all this squared away before I take her home."

"And how are _you_ doing?" She fixed him with a look that said, in a nutshell, _don't even _think_ about not answering._

"I'm…" McGee sighed, and rested his head in his hands, rubbing at his temples. "Tired. And I have a headache. And God, Abby, what was I _thinking_? There are so many ways this could have gone wrong I can't even count them. I'm lucky Sara's not in jail. I lied to _Gibbs_. What was I thinking?"

Moving around behind his chair, Abby gave him a quick squeeze and then started rubbing his shoulders, digging her thumbs into the knots of tension she found. "You were thinking she's your sister, and you had to protect her," she told him firmly. "You're her big brother, and that's what big brothers _do_. You were just doing what family does."

"That doesn't make it right." He was quiet for a few minutes, but she could feel him starting to relax just a little. She kept at his shoulders, moving up to his neck, because she was his friend, and that's what friends did. Took care of each other. He'd done it for her enough times. "I still remember the first time they let me hold her," he said eventually. "I was ten when she was born, and she was so tiny. I was terrified I was going to break her or something. And then my dad…He was gone a lot, and one of the last things he would say to me, every time he left, was 'Take care of your sister, Timothy.' Every time. 'Take care of your sister.'" McGee glanced over to the chair where Sara was sleeping. "So that's what I did."

Abby slid her arms down around his neck and rested her chin on his shoulder. "Yeah, you did. Next time just remember that we're family, too, and let us help you from the beginning. Okay?"

He squeezed her hand, and she felt rather than saw him smile, just a bit. "Okay."

They stayed just like that for a little while, and then Abby said, "Thom E. Gemcity? Really?"

McGee groaned. "Are you going to give me a hard time about that too?"

She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek before she straightened up. "Not today. But eventually…hell yes." With a grin, she headed for a the elevator. "'Night, McGee."

He groaned again. "'Night Abby."

Abby was waiting for the elevator when she heard Sara's sleepy voice behind her. "So that would be Amy, right?"

"Shut up, Sara," McGee muttered, almost inaudibly, and Abby had to suppress a laugh.

The elevator doors had barely closed behind her before she was digging her shiny new copy of _Deep Six_ out of her bag and flipping through the pages. "Amy, Amy…" she murmured, searching for a mention of the character. "Okay, lab scene…"

_His first impression of her was all long legs, black hair, green eyes, and high energy. "Agent McGregor, right?" she asked, and she had an irresistible smile that hit him like a ton of bricks. "I'm Amy."_


	8. Skeletons

How much did I love tonight's episode?!? Ask and you shall receive!!!

Missing scene from "Skeletons."

* * *

Still no music in the lab, but she didn't seem to hear him coming up behind her. This suspicion was confirmed when he stuck a Hershey bar into her line of vision and she jerked backward, startled, and her elbow ended up in his side. "Ow! Abby!"

"McGee!" She spun around and glared at him. "What do you think you're doing? Why are you sneaking up on me?!?"

"Why are you yelling?"

"Because I'm upset!"

"Are you upset at _me?"_

Abby gave him an _are you crazy? _look. "No. I'm just upset."

Okay, well at least he could stop worrying about that. "About _what?"_

Another glare, and this one translated into _back off._ He held up the candy bar in a traditional "cease fire" pose. "No nougat, right?"

McGee watched the warring emotions on her face. It took a _lot_ to keep Abby upset this long, which was why he was worried – that, and the fact that under the upset was a lot of hurt and sadness.

Finally, it was as though someone let the air out of her. The glare faded and she slumped into her chair. She took the Hershey bar and toyed with a corner of the wrapper. "Thanks," she said with a half-hearted smile.

Debating the relative merits of hanging around versus retreating before she went back to being angry, he eventually pulled up a chair and sat down next to her. He just couldn't leave her when she looked that sad. So they sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked eventually.

Abby shook her head. "McGee, am I too tall?" The question came out of nowhere, and took him by surprise. He stared at her blankly.

"Too tall?" She was actually looking at him for the first time that day, and her eyes were sad. "Too tall for what?"

She shrugged. "Just…in general. I'm almost as tall as you."

McGee glanced down at today's choice of footwear. "Not almost, in those."

It was the wrong thing to say. Abby frowned down at her favorite boots. "I mean, would you like me better if I were shorter?"

Somehow he got the feeling she wasn't talking about "as friends." He knew better than to try and get her to tell him what this was all about, so instead he searched for something, _anything,_ to make whatever was hurting her go away.

"Look at me." Green eyes focused on his, and he caught a tiny glimmer of a tear in one corner. His heart clenched, and he did something he hadn't done in years, not since they were dating. He held up one hand, palm facing her.

After a minute, she touched her hand to his. He laced his fingers with hers, and, leaning in, kissed her knuckles. "You're perfect," he told her, never taking his eyes off her. "I wouldn't change a single thing about you, even if I could."

They sat like that for a moment, hands clasped, until McGee's phone buzzed in his pocket. "Tony," he said, checking the display. "I need to go back upstairs."

Abby squeezed his hand tight before disentangling their fingers. "I'll see you later." She turned back to her computer, and he headed for the door. "Tim?"

He stopped halfway out into the hall and looked back over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

It was more of a slight lift at the corner of her mouth than an actual smile, but it was better than nothing. "Thanks."


End file.
